Reflections on making a music video
Reflections on making a music video
Expressing myself in sound is one thing, but expressing myself on film?
Today, I’m reflecting on the music video for “Death Only Comes When I’m Awake,” the first single from my forthcoming E.P., Fever Dreams at Ruger Place.
It’s been just over a week since the release of “Death Only Comes When I’m Awake” and its accompanying music video. Getting the single and video out into the open feels like a significant milestone, a concluded effort. In reality, it’s only the first step in a list of planned releases and events. The full E.P., Fever Dreams at Ruger Place, will launch next month on July 7th. You can pre-save and/or pre-order the E.P. here.
But, today, I want to take a brief moment to reflect on the music video creation process and indulge in a brief post-mortem. Making a music video (and, honestly, every other task related to independently releasing music) has always felt daunting to me and I can’t help but feel as if I’m not alone in that. My hope is that you’ll find value in reading about this process.
Let your limitations define you
I did not choose video as my primary medium in this life and, as a result, I do not have the kind of equipment required to make the kind of stunningly beautiful 4k and 8k footage that is just so common today. Instead, what I had and continue to have available to me is an eight year old Canon Rebel t6i that can shoot, at most, in 1080p. It is not a fancy camera.
It’s also worth noting that I am not a videographer, nor is anybody else in my life. This entire video was shot entirely on auto, albeit with manually set focus (impressive, I know). These are all skills that I could learn and practice and, in the future, likely will. But doing so at that moment would’ve introduced doubt and friction at a stage in the process in which forward momentum was needed the most.
I know that I’m unskilled as a video maker so, why not embrace that and transform it into a strength?
There is something to be said about being clear-eyed about your own shortcomings, at least in this regard. To adopt a metaphor from music making, the endless possibilities of the DAW can be a source of creative paralysis. The more skilled you are in using the DAW, and the more aware you become of those available possibilities, then the greater the risk of paralysis becomes. On the opposite end of the spectrum, having fewer creative resources available to you, whether that be through self-imposed limitation or lack of skill, can provide an otherwise difficult to acquire focus.
There is something to be said about being clear-eyed about your own shortcomings, at least in this regard
The entire vision and aesthetic for the “Death Only Comes When I’m Awake” music video was defined by my lack of skill in the video making process. Throughout filming and editing, I decided to lean into the fact that I wouldn’t be able to get every shot color matched or consistently lit. I also decided to lean into making the most of simple editing techniques: jump cuts, zooming, reversing, and speed changing. It was a lofi video that wasn’t pretending to be anything other than that.
It’s important to note is that this kind of lofi video aesthetic works here because it’s strongly supported by the song itself. “Death Only Comes When I’m Awake” is a surrealistic and dream-like song to begin with. So, having an also surrealistic and dream-like video strengthens the whole experience. How I embrace my own creative limitations in future music videos will likely look different as my own music evolves as well.
Be as prepared as humanly possible
Let’s start this section with what may be the most important piece of information I share in this newsletter: making a music video requires so much more raw footage than you think. We recorded around five hours of footage for this two minute and forty six second music video and I just barely had enough useable footage to edit with. If we did not compile a shot list, there is just no way that we would have recorded enough.
Even with a shot list, we did not record enough takes. I’ve learned that for every shot I want to get, I should have at minimum two complete, useable takes. Not partial, but complete. I would call this policy “insurance against unfortunate facial expressions.” Similarly with b-roll (additional footage that isn’t the main action or story that you want to tell), I would also get just, like, way more than you think you need.
I am happy to say that we didn’t forget anything, though. My friends are champions. They trudged through mycelium-softened, snow-laden, steeply-inclining forest floor with me while carrying so many things. I learn more and more that being a successful artist has very little to do with me and everything to do with the people that surround me. May you also find these people.
I learn more and more that being a successful artist has very little to do with me and everything to do with the people that surround me.
You’ll be challenged by your insecurities
There is a pretty common reaction amongst singers when they hear themselves recorded for the first time: they hate the sound of their own voice. The reason for this being is that the recording is missing the part of the sound that comes from bone conduction. On a somewhat-poetic level, it means that we can never know another person’s voice as they recognize it. I suppose that a recording could be made with a contact mic taped to somebody’s head in addition to a vocal mic in an attempt to record the voice in the way that it’s perceived by the singer, but I digress. I’m trying to find a technical solution to a conceptual problem. My point is that singers have such a strong reaction to these first time recordings because they are forced to confront their own perception of themselves and, in some ways, conceptualize theirselves how others see them.
This experience, of surprise upon seeing oneself through the eyes of others, I have found is also true when filming a music video for the first time. Like any and every other person alive on this planet, there are aspects of my physical appearance that I am insecure about. There are things about my smile I dislike. I’m tall and built like a linebacker (and not the particularly jacked ones). Releasing my first single at 30 is also quite against the grain.
These aspects of myself by no means disqualify me from creating the art that I want to create. But, I’ve never seen an artist early in their career with these qualities star in a music video. That isn’t to say that there aren’t any, of course, but, as somebody who came of age during the dying gasps of the rock era, the only men I ever saw leading videos were long haired, waifish rock stars and those are things that I very clearly am not.
As I said, who I am and what I look like does not disqualify me from making and starring in my own music video but it does require me to decide how to best present myself in a way that makes me feel confident and comfortable, without many examples to go on. As the person who also edited the video, I realized that it also required a sort of negotiation with myself. I found this self-negotiation to ultimately be anxiety reducing. I got to choose shots that made me feel like my best self on camera. It became less about running from any insecurity I might have and more about seeing the totality of myself. Doing so was the only way I could feel comfortable making the music video that I did; one that is at once dramatic, silly, and surreal.
It’s also worth noting that my insecurities about my physical appearance would’ve stopped me from doing this altogether in my late teens/early twenties. One of the benefits of beginning this phase of my career at 30 is being comfortable with myself in a way that just wasn’t possible any younger. Years of not making the music that I wanted to be making out of fear took its toll on me. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that we should all just make our art. In the end, we’ll be much happier having put it into the world than we would ever be hiding safe behind our insecurities.
Until next time.
Quick Hits
You can pre-save/pre-order Fever Dreams at Ruger Place now. I’ll be previewing more songs soon. Follow this page to be notified when it’s released.
Do you need help with your music production or composition skills? I offer private one on one lessons over Zoom. You can sign up for lessons here.
My RM-10 sample pack has gotten a ton of downloads recently. If you want to check out this under the radar vintage drum machine, snag it here. I’ve got more sample packs on the way.